Why The More Carefully You Explain How You Feel, The Less He Hears

There are spoken (and unspoken) things that men need to hear, to feel not just intense attraction towards a woman, but a deep emotional connection with her. Say them, and he relaxes. Leave them out, or bury them inside a long explanation, and he braces himself.

Speaking his language doesn’t mean playing games, or pretending to be someone you’re not. You keep your feelings and your femininity. You simply say what you mean in a way he can take in.

Inside Say This To Men you’ll learn to use emotional language that keeps him from getting defensive and breaks down his wall of silence.

When you get it right, the change is quiet but you can’t miss it. He stops bracing himself. He looks at you while you speak. He puts the phone down and gives you his full attention, and sometimes, without being asked, he starts telling you what he really feels.

That happens because he finally feels genuinely understood, and safe enough to open up and express his deep feelings.

It also changes how you hear him. When he says “I’m fine” or “I don’t know”, that is rarely the whole truth. More often it’s the sound of a man behind his wall, and once you know what to say, the wall starts coming down.

Here’s what speaking his language opens up for you:

• Initiate an engaging conversation with any man that pulls him in, increasing the likelihood of a more fulfilling and exciting dating life.
• Feel more appreciated and admired by a man because of the incredibly sexy ability to speak to him in HIS language, yet retain femininity at the same time.
• Develop a closer emotional bond with him, because now he feels that he is genuinely understood and feels safe opening up and expressing his deep feelings.
• Find pleasure in a happier home life, because now both sides of the relationship are on the same page with everything, and when an issue arises, it becomes easier to work through it together in harmony.
• Enjoy an explosive love life that brings more pleasure, passion, and lust to the relationship which in turn will flourish over time.
• Increase the chances of instant chemistry and connection with a guy. As a result, he is much more likely to pursue a relationship, and picture his life with the amazing woman he just met.

Some of you have done everything right. You’ve read the articles, you’ve waited for the calm moment, you’ve kept your voice soft and explained your feelings without blaming him.

And he still went quiet.

That’s because most of that advice teaches you to communicate the way women do, only more carefully: more explaining, more detail, more “let’s talk about us”. With your girlfriends that works wonderfully. With a man, more of it often means more of what made him defensive in the first place.

Say This To Men starts from the other end, from how men hear things. It walks you step by step through precisely what to say to a man to get him to listen and appreciate you, written for the man who is actually sitting across the table from you.